托福写作结构三

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　　Writing supporting ideas

　　Before we begin, let's have another look at our first topic sentence. Here's what we have so far:

　　First of all, guns causemore harm than good.

　　Now let's use something that we've heard or read about for our supporting ideas. Our paragraph might look something like this:

　　First of all, guns causemore harm than good. There are often stories in the newspapaer about people who are accidentally shot.Moreover,many of these stories involve police officers.

　　If guns had not been involved, these accidents would not have happened. On the other hand, there are very fewstories about how a gun has saved somebody's life.

　　In this example, our supporting ideas come from stories we've read in the newspaper. And they all explain why guns cause more harm than good.

　　We have also used a few interesting phrases at the beginning of some sentences: moreover and on the other hand. These are called transitional phrases. We'll talk about them in a separate lesson.

　　Writing supporting ideas

　　Now let's take a look at our second topic sentence. Here it is:

　　In addition to the previous point, inmost cases police officers don't need guns.

　　Now let's try using a personal experience for our supporting ideas. Here's one way we could write the paragraph:

　　In addition to the previous point, inmost cases police officers don't need guns.My father, for example, has beena police officer for over 20 years, and he has never had to use his gun.

　　In fact, he says that most people who break the laware unarmed. Thus, it is often unnecessary for police officers to carry guns.

　　There we have it! Again, our supporting ideas all tell the reader why our topic sentence is true. You will also notice that we've used a few more transitional phrases: for example, in fact, and thus. We'll talk about that after we write the conclusion.

　　Howto Write a TOEFL Essay Conclusion

　　The conclusion is the essay's last paragraph. It restates the thesis and summarizes themain points.

　　The conclusion of your TOEFL essay is probably the easiest part to write. Before we begin,here is what you should know about the conclusion:

　　• It's the last paragraph of the essay.

　　• It's usually 3 or four sentences long.

　　• It restates the essay's thesis.

　　• It summarizes the essay's main points.

　　The conclusion must restate your thesis statement and summarize the essay's main points.

　　If it doesn't do this, then it's a bad conclusion.

　　In order to write the conclusion, we have to look at three important sentences in our essay.

　　We look at our thesis statement and we look at our two topic senteces. This is what we'll do on the next page.

　　Writing the conclusion

　　First we have to look at our thesis statement:

　　No police officer should ever carry a gun.

　　Next we look at our two topic senteces:

　　First of all, guns causemore harm than good.

　　In addition to the previous point, inmost cases police officers don't need guns.

　　Now we simply put them all into one paragraph, beginning with the thesis statement:

　　In conclusion, police officers should not carry guns.Guns usually cause harm to people.Moreover, police officers often don't need themto do their jobs.

　　Maybe you have noticed that we made small changes to the thesis statement and topic sentences. This is because it's not good to copy the sentences exactly--it's boring for the reader. These changes give our writing more variety.

　　We also added two transitional phrases to our conclusion: in conclusion and moreover.

　　We'll talk about these in a separate lesson. For now, let's go to the next page and see our essay!

　　Howto Write a TOEFL Essay Conclusion

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　　Our TOEFL essay

　　We've finally completed our essay! Here it is:

　　Many communities have beendebating whether or not police officers should carry guns. In some situations, guns protect the police officer as well as the public. However, guns often result in injuries and death. No police officer should ever carry a gun.

　　First of all, guns causemore harm than good. There are often stories in the newspapaer about people who are accidentally shot.Moreover,many of these stories involve police officers.

　　If guns had not been involved, these accidents would not have happened. On the other hand, there are very fewstories about how a gun has saved somebody's life.

　　In addition to the previous point, inmost cases police officers don't need guns.My father, for example, has beena police officer for over 20 years, and he has never had to use his gun.

　　In fact, he says that most people who break the laware unarmed. Thus, it is often unnecessary for police officers to carry guns.

　　In conclusion, police officers should not carry guns.Guns usually cause harm to people.Moreover, police officers often don't need themto do their jobs.

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