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托福独立写作例证法讲解【实例解析】

2018-05-17 11:53:44来源：新东方

　　东民老师课上经常跟大家强调“例证法是托福独立写作最常用的段落展开方式。”例证法的优势在于能以细节展开的方式论证观点，同时一个例子往往字数相当可观，能有效避免干说理字数少的问题。

　　来源：太原新东方留学考试中心 石东民

　　那么什么样的例子才是考官眼中的好例子呢?

　　第一、有细节，情节完整

　　主题句

　　诚实能让我们交到更多的朋友

　　举个例子

　　小明很诚实

　　小明交到了很多的朋友。

　　以上这个例子就是个“假例子”，既没有细节也没有情节。情节就是事情的起因+经过+结果，细节就是把情节具体化。考官在例子中希望看到的是，小明在什么事情中很诚实了，他是怎么诚实的，然后他的诚实怎么就吸引来很多朋友了?当然，我们也不需要把例子的情节写的跌宕起伏，但至少，例子得是个完整的“事儿”。

　　第二、例子要充分证明主题句观点

　　我们要熟记，例子一定是给主题句举的，写例子的时候一定要再看一眼这段的主题句是什么。

　　我们来看今年3月24号的真题：

　　Do you agree or disagree: People should relax with the ways related to their hobbies and physical activities which are different with their work.

　　首先来破题，这是一道经典的价值判断题，而且是一道题目自带分类的“幸运题”，写同意更加好写。两个中间段分别写hobby和physical activities带来的好处即可。

　　来看A同学写的第二个中间段：

　　Secondly, by being exposed to a hobby which has nothing to do with work, people can fully relax themselves . There is no doubt that after a whole week’s work, only by doing something we are interested in can we refresh our mind and relieve pressure. For example, my friend Alice is a tennis player . She had to train every day to win competitions. Of course, she was always tired when I saw her and then she was fond of listening to music. Therefore, she gets a more efficient sleep than other trainers. Now she grew closer to her dream.(和主题句的观点无关) For this reason, I think a different hobby can relax one person more efficiently.

　　评语：

　　不少语言基础很棒的同学，前面的主题句、说理解释，句式和用词上都能做到准确多样，然而，一旦到了举例子这里，就会限于情节的设计而在语言上打折扣。比如A同学例子的引入部分，即蓝色语句，每句话都是简单句，句间逻辑不够紧密，就会显得拖沓。例子的引入一句话交代即可。

　　接下来，最关键的问题在于，引出了“听音乐”的这个爱好后，中间环节缺失，直接就到了结果上。要想证明主题句“爱好能减压”，那一定要在例子中具体展开，Alice听的是什么类型的音乐，这个爱好是怎么帮助她减压的?比如因为这个爱好，她做了哪些事参加了什么活动?这部分说细致了，例子才有说服力。

　　最后还有一个小问题，就是写着写着，就忘记了主题句的观点。划线部分和主题句无关，属于无效细节。例子最终的结果也要呼应主题句，点到Alice最终因为这个爱好消除了压力，感到轻松愉快。

　　修改后：

　　Take my friend Alice, a professional tennis player in Beijing, for example. (例子的背景交代)Due to the high-intensity training and fierce competition, seldom could she put herself in a better frame of mind. Fortunately, everything has changed since she took up listening to music as her hobby. (中间环节) According to her, A piece of melody served as a remedy for fatigue so that she could fully escape from the daily routine and forget the pressure in the match. What is more, she even joined a classical music club where she interacted with a bunch of like-minded peers. By sharing favorite songs and music anecdotes once a week, they became acquainted with each other and even hung out together frequently . (例子的最终结果) It was no wonder that Alice found a source of relaxation in her life and benefited a lot from her outside interest.

　　以上就是为大家整理的“托福独立写作例证法讲解”，更多精彩内容请关注新东方在线托福频道!

本文关键字: 托福写作例证法 托福独立写作 托福写作

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