托福考试冲刺百分的思维及方法：写作篇

　　各位同学，大家好!托福考试能够上百是很多同学的目标，分解到写作上，就需要同学们努力向25分这一目标迈进。但是，似乎这一目标并不是特别好实现。首先我先和大家分享两个真实的案例。

　　在今年的一次考试中，学生A.B的写作成绩单后面的评价都是good。但是学生A是 30分的满分成绩。而学生B则是 24分。那么今天我们就结合ETS 的原始评分1-5分制来讲解一下,为什么明明学生A和B都是两个good，分数上却有这么大的区别呢?

　　首先我们先来看一下独立写作部分：

　　任务回应程度和文章组织结构

　　首先在任务的回应程度上和文章组织上, 4 分作文的特点是：

　　address thetopic and the task well though some points may not be elaborated (不错的完成任务，即使部分观点没有展开)

　　Displayprogression, unity, and coherence , though it may occur redundancy, digression,or unclear expressions (表现出统一性和推进力和凝聚力，但存在偶尔的冗余，偏题)

　　下面是5分作文的评分标准：

　　Effectivelyaddresses the task (有效的解决话题)

　　Displayunity, progress and coherence ( 表现出统一性和推进力和凝聚力)

　　从上面的表述来看,如果从4-5 我们需要做的就是充分展开观点，并且减少文章的冗余程度。但是充分展开和文章冗余如何去定义呢?下面我们就通过两个官方给的范文片段来具体阐述:

　　首先我们来通过官方给到的4分的文章片段来感受下这一点：

　　On theother hand, adults should consider moving out when they are sure that they areready for it. Being ready includes being financially, physically, andpsychologically ready. One major advantage for staying with your parents isfinancially advantage. Because one gets to save money between the residency anddaily living issues.

　　然后我们同样来看一下5分作文的片段：

　　Most young adults prefer to have a separateor independent life from their parents or families as soon as possible. This isbecause they have a strong urge for freedom in doing what they desire. But infact, many of them fail. This should not be surprising since often they areactually not ready mentally although they are physically ready. It is widelyunderstood that to live independently requires a lot of energy and is not easyat all. In this twenty first century, people may need more and more preparationbecause competition is increasing rapidly. An observation shows that manyUniversity graduated students are unemployed. Therefore, they will not be ableto support and fulfill their necessities.

　　这两个段落同样都是在讨论年轻人是否能够独立生活。但是对比之下我们发现，第二个段落要比第一个段落展开更加具体，有具体的例子来进行支持，比如作者用了一个observation 的例子来支持前面的观点，什么导致现在年轻人不能够独立生活，而且文章逻辑紧凑可以十分有力的支持这一段的分论点。

　　相比之下第一个段落逻辑稍微跳跃，另外存在个别观点解释不清楚的问题，比如为什么和父母住在一起可以帮助年轻人省钱。

　　语言表述

　　在这一点上4分和5分分别的表述是

　　1. Displaysfacility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety and range ofvocabulary , though it will probably have occasional noticeable errors in thestructure, word form, or use of idiomatic language that do not interfere withmeaning 表现语言的应用能力，体现语言的多样性，词汇量，虽然可能会出现偶尔结构上，词形上或用语上的错误，这些错误并不影响理解。

　　2. Demonstratessyntactic variety and appropriate word choice though it may have occasionalerrors

　　句式丰富，措辞合适，允许小的错误。

　　所以我们看到4分和5分之间比较关键的是一些不影响理解的小的语法错误，那什么样的错误可以称作明显的不影响理解的小的语法和用语上的错误?

　　我们看到官方在4分文章评价当中给到如下错误示范：

　　Some argues (主谓不一致),” “living in their own (固定搭配使用错误),” “become independence (词性错误),”诸如上面一些错误并没有影响到文章的阅读，但是如果我们要冲到满分，大家要尽量减少此类问题的出现。

　　下面我们再来看一下综合写作部分：

　　综合写作5分和4分都需要共同满足评分标准： a response at this level is generally good in selecting informationfrom the lecture and incoherently and accurately presenting this information inrelation to relevant information in the reading 选择听力重要信息，以及展示此信息与阅读之间的关系。

　　但是4分的文章当中出现了 如下问题：

　　It may have minor omission, inaccuracy,vagueness, or imprecision of some content from the lecture or in connection topoints made in the reading.可能有小的遗漏，不准确，模糊，或不精确的地方。

　　A response is scored at this level if ithas more frequent or noticeable minor language errors 出现了更多明显的语言错误

　　所以我们看到从4分到5分很明显，差距就在于文章中是否会有一些表述不清楚或者文章出现了一些明显的语法错误。

　　比如我们来看下面两个分别来自4分和5分的段落

　　1

　　Secondly, paragraph suggests that bydoing work as a team might give you an “edge,” the lecture suggests that that might also be a negative thing aswell. The people who made themselves leaders in the group may just be wrong incertain decisions, or just simple thing something is so creative, when inreality it is not and it would not work, but the rest of the people wouldnevertheless still follow them, and end up not doing well at all.

　　2

　　Second, groups were slow in progress.The passage says that groups are more responsive than individuals because ofthe number of people involved and their aggregated resources. However, thespeaker talks about how the firm found out that groups were slower thanindividuals in decision making. Groups needed more time for meetings, which arenecessary procedures in decision making. This was another part where experiencecontradicted theory.

　　对比之下，我们发现第一段出现一些语言表述的问题，根据官方给的评价，第一段的最后一句出现理解困难，也就是评分标准里面提到的imprecision of some content from the lecture.

　　通过以上讨论，我们可以得到结论，如果要冲破托福百分大关，写作达到25+，那么从独立的角度来说，需要减少文章的语言错误，另外要注意段落的阐述和文章的整体推进。综合写作注意增加听力细节和阅读关系以及注意语言表述的问题。