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托福口语人物类话题万能段子

2018-06-19 14:10:28来源：网络

　　直接上真题： Describe your favorite singer or movie star.

　　我们先来看一个学生的回答，一起挑挑错误：

　　Jolin is my favorite singer, because she made a lot of beautiful music which cheer me up. Once I got a bad grade in English exam, and I felt sad. And I almost wanted to give up learning English. But when I listened to sound of Jolin, I felt better. The lyric in her sounds was motivated, it taught me that facing the challenge bravely and giving up something was not worthwhile. Then I gained a lot of motivation to study English.

　　接下来，严格根据托福口语评分标准来对这个回答进行评分。

　　(一)话题陈述 topic statement

　　优点：回答中有总观点(Jolin is my favorite singer)，有分论点(because she made a lot of beautiful music which cheer me up.)，也有相应的细节(Once I got a bad grade...)。

　　缺点：但是因为这个题目中带有“describe”，我们的回答结构就应该是MDR.这里欠缺人物描述。

　　一般说来，人物题都是需要对人物进行描述的，因为考官不认识这个人。这道题可以改成：I really like Jolin who is a popular singer in China.

　　优点：下面再来看细节。学生用了举例子的方法展开了论证，事件中包含了完整的起因、经过和结果。

　　缺点：小问题在于“once”的使用，我们在讲论证方法的时候就说过once这样的词太宽泛，不够具体。这里可以改为：Last month等。

　　(二)表达 delivery

　　文章整体逻辑感还不错，但是分观点和例子之间衔接不明显。也就是说分论点说完没有先解释一下就进行了举例子，感觉很生硬。这里可以加入下文斜体的句子：

　　Jolin is my favorite singer, because she made a lot of beautiful music which cheer me up. I mean, her songs convey positive energy which could really get me out of tough days. Once I got a bad grade in English exam, and I felt sad...

　　(三)语言使用 language use

　　文中一共6句话，却出现了7处语法或用词的错误。我们一个一个看：

　　a.主谓不一致。music单数，后面应该是cheers me up

　　b.名词单复数。可数名词之前一定要有相应的冠词a/an/the;不可数名词之前什么都不加或者加some/lots of等可以修饰名词单复数的词。所以English exam应改为English exams; lyric改为lyrics; motivation改为the motivation。

　　c.语义相反。facing the challenge bravely and giving up something...这句学生想表达的是：应勇敢面对困难，半途放弃不值得。但是文中的意思就变成了勇敢面对困难和中途放弃都是不值得的。应改为：we should face challenges bravely instead of giving it up easily.

　　d.motivate的用法。当形容物的时候，用motivating。如：the movie is really motivating;表示人得到鼓舞的时候，用motivated。如：I was really motivated.

　　以上问题改正后，这位学生的回答就变good啦!

　　除此之外，再给大家分享一个常用的高分回答：

　　Well, my favorite movie star is Jackie Chan who is one of the most popular action movie stars in China. I like him because he is really an excellent actor and he never use stand-ins to replace him in dangerous scenes. I remember that in one of his action movies called Who I Am, there was one scene where he had to jump from a helicopter into a river. And he did it by himself. I heard that he got hurt because of that. It was really impressive. He really is a star!

　　以上就是为大家整理的“托福口语人物类话题万能段子”，更多精彩内容请关注新东方在线托福频道!


本文关键字: 托福口语段子 托福口语 托福

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