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手把手教你如何写出托福写作满分作文

2016-03-14 14:50:26来源：新东方 薛鹏

　　〖三段〗第二次支持作家立场

　　The standard of things people should do vary ① from the different people. And personal thought might oppose the mainstream. Zuckerberg hasn’t finished his study in Howard University. In the traditional opinion, he spends too much time on the meaningless thing. But it’s the decision that makes him one of the most successful businessmen around the world. Ifhe ② don’t choose to spend all their time on what he ③ interested in, and spend most time on ④study which is a correct decision in ordinary thinking. ⑤He might ⑥achieve such an achievement as now. After all only when people ⑥doing things they⑦ longed to do, could they create miracles.

　　〖点评〗facebook 创始人的例证很好，有说服力。① from 应该改为among, ② don’t 应该改为 doesn’t, ③ interested in 应该改为 is interested in, ④ study 改 为studying ⑤He might前面有逗号，he为小写，⑥ achieve 改为 fail to achieve 逻辑才顺畅。

　　〖润色〗

　　The standard of things people should do vary greatly among different people. Personal thought might contradict the mainstream. Zuckerberg hasn’t finished his study in Howard University. In the traditional opinion, he spends too much time on the trivial or valueless thing. But it’s the decision that makes him end up becoming one of the most successful risk-takers and business leaders around the world. If he doesn’t choose to spend all his time on what he is interested in, andspend great amounts of time on studying what is a correct decision in ordinary thinking, he might fail to achieve such an achievement. In this sense, only by means of doing things people aspire after could they create miracles.

　　〖解析〗

　　1. vary greatly among different people 在不同人之间有差异　　2. spends too much time on the trivial or valueless thing 花费太多时间在琐碎的无意义的事情上　　3. end up becoming one of the most successful risk-takers and business leaders 最终成为成功的冒险家和企业家之一　　4. spend great amounts of time on 花费大量时间做……　　5. In this sense, only by means of doing sth can sb do 从这个意义上说，只有通过……，……才能……

本文关键字: 托福写作 托福作文 托福满分作文

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